A World Without You
by Somebody's Dark Angel
Summary: Prue is very ill...and pregnant, how will her family cope?


A World Without You  
  
Kay, Prue & Andy are married, as are Leo & Piper and Cole & Phoebe. Prue & Andy live in the manor, with Leo & Piper on one side and Cole & Phoebe on the other. All three couples have keys to each other's houses.  
  
Prue gasped as she looked at the small stick in her hand. "Andy?" she screamed. "Andy, sweetie, come here!"  
  
Her husband came running. "What, what?" he said, slightly out of breath.  
  
"Look," she replied, thrusting the object into his hand. His face turned white.  
  
"W—you, you, this is, a-a-a pregnancy test? It's p-positive? Oh my God, we're gonna have a baby?" Andy stammered, looking shocked.  
  
"I know!" Prue yelled. "This is the best news ever."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you were taking a test?" Andy asked, hugging his wife.  
  
"Because I didn't even think that I really was pregnant," Prue confessed. "I just got so, um, desperate for a baby, and, uh, jealous of Piper, that, well, I just took a test for the sheer hell of it."  
  
"What, you didn't even think you were pregnant?" he checked. "What, no sickness, no, no missed periods, nothing?"  
  
"No." She looked at him. "You're not mad?" He shook his head.  
  
"No way – why would I be mad? My wife, the woman I love, is having my baby. I couldn't be happier, Prue." He paused. "I think this finally makes my life complete."  
  
"Oh…" That was all it took for the tears to fall. Tears of joy, of hope, they were even tears of love. "I'm going to be a mom."  
  
"Oh, God, I'm going to be a dad," Andy muttered. Then his expression changed. "I'm gonna be a dad! Wahoo!"  
  
"You what?" asked another voice, and Piper's head peered around the doorframe. She was holding the car seat containing her two-week-old daughter, Melinda Patricia. Leo followed her.  
  
"Piper! Leo!" Prue squealed. "We're having a baby!"  
  
"Oh my God, that's so great!" Piper replied, also screaming. The baby woke up and started crying. "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie," Piper whispered. "Shut up, you guys," she added to Prue, Leo and Andy who were both still hugging and screaming. They stopped immediately.  
  
Piper began nursing the baby, and Leo and Andy both looked away. They still weren't comfortable about breastfeeding. Prue, on the other hand, began watching intently.  
  
"I can't wait to be a mom," she said, smiling.  
  
* * *  
  
Two nights later, Prue and Andy were able to finally digest the information. Prue was reading, Andy was watching television, and suddenly a commercial for diapers came on.  
  
"That's going to be us," Andy said, pointing at the couple with the baby on screen. Prue put down her book and looked at the TV.  
  
"Yeah…" Prue whispered.  
  
"Are we even ready for this?" Andy asked her, moving closer to her.  
  
"I think so. I've been waiting for this my whole life – a baby, and a guy who I love to share it with. I mean you're even better than the guys I pictured, hell yeah." She paused. "And even if we aren't ready, I can't think who I'd rather learn with than you – you and our baby."  
  
"We're going to be the perfect little family – mommy, daddy and baby. Because of you, I am so happy. And now, this baby is going to make us happier than we've ever been in our lives. Our life is just perfect."  
  
Prue nodded, smiling. "I feel the same way. We're going to live happily ever after – the Trudeau family," she added, smiling.  
  
* * *  
  
Prue was awoken the next morning with horrible feelings of nausea. "Yuck," she muttered, rushing to the bathroom. She threw up for nearly a half hour, by which time Andy had come to her aid.  
  
"Sweetie?" he asked. "You okay?"  
  
"I've been throwing up for a half-hour," she replied, angrily. "You think I'm okay?"  
  
Cole and Phoebe entered at this moment. "You okay, Prue?" Phoebe asked.  
  
"Yeah, have you got the flu?" Cole queried.  
  
"No," Andy answered. "Want to tell them, Prue?"  
  
She nodded. "I'm pregnant!" There was a sudden rush of activity.  
  
"Oh my god!" Cole yelled.  
  
"That's great," Phoebe added. "Congratulations."  
  
"Wow… everyone's got a baby apart from us," Cole said to Phoebe, as they left the bathroom, leaving Prue to be sick on her own.  
  
"Yu-huh," Phoebe replied.  
  
"Should we have one?" Cole asked.  
  
"We will, we will," Phoebe told him. "Give it time."  
  
* * *  
  
The day of the first sonogram finally dawned. To Prue and Andy, it felt as though they had waited their whole lives for this day. To find out if their child was a boy or a girl. They couldn't wait to see their baby for the first time.  
  
Prue was lying on the bed in the hospital, Andy was holding her hand, and, on the screen, was their baby. At least, that was what they hoped.  
  
"So, Mr and Mrs Trudeau," the doctor began, "There's an ovary, ah, that's your uterus, and that's your baby…"  
  
The doctor looked concerned when the heartbeat, loud and somewhat uneven, filtered through to the room.  
  
"I-is everything okay?" Andy asked, nervously. "Is the baby okay?"  
  
The doctor nodded, seeming preoccupied. "Prepare yourselves," she announced.  
  
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Prue asked, excited now.  
  
"A boy," the doctor said. Prue and Andy turned to one another, stoked. She paused, listening to the heartbeat, and then turned back to the screen. "And a girl."  
  
"No-o," Andy replied, slowly. "A boy and a girl?"  
  
"Twins?" Prue put in.  
  
"Mmm." The doctor nodded. "Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Trudeau." She pointed to the screen. "That's your boy – and that's your girl."  
  
"And they're both, like, healthy and everything?" Andy checked.  
  
"Yup. Everything's just fi—" She broke off, still staring at the screen, and clutched at her pager. "Dr Tyler, could you come in here, please?"  
  
"What, what, what's the matter?" Andy asked.  
  
The doctor shook her head. "I don't know. It might not be anything."  
  
"But?" Prue prompted.  
  
"There is a, um, a mass, in your uterus, that, um, looks like…" She stopped.  
  
"What does it look like?" Prue said. "It's my uterus, tell me? My baby—babies are living in there, tell me what's wrong!"  
  
The doctor took a deep breath. "It looks like a growth."  
  
"Y-you mean," Andy began. "You mean cancer?" His throat was dry, his voice hoarse.  
  
"Cancer?" Prue repeated.  
  
The doctor looked at the couple. "I'm so sorry, Mrs Trudeau." She paused. "I mean, I-I can't be sure, but, it looks like cancer."  
  
When Dr Tyler arrived, he confirmed the doctor's statement. "I'm very sorry Mrs Trudeau," he added. "Cancer is always difficult to treat, especially during pregnancy."  
  
"But, it might not be cancer, right?" Andy checked.  
  
"It could be benign, yes," Dr Tyler agreed. "But we need to get it checked out. It's lucky that we saw it before it had chance to spread from the uterus."  
  
Prue nodded, feeling totally numb.  
  
"You will need to be referred to a specialist," her own doctor told her. "There are some very good gynaecologic oncologists here – that's a doctor who specialises in the female reproductive system," she added, seeing the blank looks on her patient's face.  
  
"When do I need to see someone?" Prue asked, blinking back tears. Cancer was something that happened to other people, not to her.  
  
"As soon as possible. Because of the pregnancy, we need to see the extent of the cancer – if it is cancer. You may need to have an abort—"  
  
"No." She shook her head. "No way."  
  
Prue's own doctor looked at her. "I would ask you to consider an abortion. By having these babies, you may be putting your own life at risk." She paused. "I think that's all for today."  
  
"Mrs Trudeau, in some cases, abortions are the best way to go," Dr Tyler insisted. "But it may not come to that. You will need a biopsy – that is where a sample of the infected tissue is removed. This would normally be done by surgery, but as you are pregnant, we will need to take a small sample of tissue by inserting a needle into your uterus using CT scanning. This way, we won't harm your babies."  
  
"Now?" Prue asked. Dr Tyler nodded.  
  
The procedure was quick and painless. Prue tried to block out the terrible fears the surged through her body every few seconds. She didn't have cancer. She was happy, she was healthy, she was pregnant with twins – she had wonderful friends, a loving husband, she wasn't sick. Prue never gets sick, illness is for weak people; only smokers get cancer, all sorts of myths about illness, cancer. There was one that wouldn't go away. Cancer kills.  
  
"Come back tomorrow at three," Dr Tyler told Prue. "We should have your results then."  
  
The day passed too slowly. The couple sat around at home, not knowing what to do. They avoided their friends – how could they help them? They would just be upset, and Prue and Andy couldn't handle telling people.  
  
* * *  
  
The next day, they were back at the hospital. Dr Tyler greeted them, and led them into his office. He got straight to the point. "I'm very sorry."  
  
"C-cancer?" Prue whispered. There had to be a mistake. She couldn't have cancer – she was healthy. She was going to have twins. And cancer, cancer kills you. Prue wasn't ready to die.  
  
"I am so very sorry," the doctor told her. "You have ovarian cancer – it's fairly advanced, I'd say in about stage two or three, according to the CT scan. Chemotherapy could kill the babies. If you don't have chemotherapy, there isn't much chance of you seeing next year."  
  
"What can we do?" Andy asked.  
  
"I would suggest an abortion," Dr Tyler replied. "You need to make a decision within the next week. Otherwise, it will be illegal for an abortion to take place."  
  
Prue didn't immediately disagree. "I-I need some time to think," she said.  
  
"Of course," the doctor replied. He handed her a piece of paper. "This is my number. Call me if you need any help, or when you've made a decision."  
  
Outside the hospital, Andy turned to his wife. "I-I'm so sorry," he whispered.  
  
"Not your fault." Prue couldn't say anymore – she needed to hold back the tears. If she cried, it would be like admitting it was true. Admitting that she had cancer. Cancer kills.  
  
"You might not have it," Andy said. He hated feeling so helpless. Why was it all happening to Prue? She needed to be healthy for their children. Why couldn't it have happened to him instead? Why did it have to happen to Prue?  
  
"Mmm." Prue knew that if she opened her mouth, she would cry. She needed to be strong. Cancer kills – she can't have cancer.  
  
Suddenly they were home. How? Neither of them had paid any attention to anything apart from the thought rushing through their minds. Cancer kills. They should be happy – they just found out they're having twins. But Prue is going to die.  
  
Piper and the baby were in the manor when they arrived back home.  
  
"Hi guys!" Piper said, cheerily. "Sorry I didn't see you yesterday." Neither of them replied. "So, is it a boy or a girl?" Piper tried again.  
  
"Yeah," Andy replied, wearily. He needed to be strong for Prue. He couldn't let her see how scared he was.  
  
"Twins," Prue muttered.  
  
"That's great!" Piper cried, trying to keep up the façade. "Isn't it?"  
  
"Mmm." Prue couldn't let anyone know how terrified she's feeling. It might not be cancer. It might be something else. Yeah, that had to be it. Prue wouldn't get cancer. They made a mistake – you always read about these mistakes that doctors make. All the time, they're always making mistakes. But… Cancer kills. But she hasn't got cancer, has she?  
  
"Okay, guys, what's wrong?" Piper asked, not able to bear it anymore.  
  
There was a dreadful pause. Andy suddenly thought of something else. Where would they get the money to pay for two babies and Prue's hospital treatment? And then, what if he was left with two babies? But Prue wouldn't die, not Prue. He couldn't live without Prue. She was his whole life… if she died, then how could he go on living? How could anyone live if Prue died? It would be as though the sun had refused to shine. Life would not count… what kind of a life could he live without Prue?  
  
"I-I-I've got cancer," Prue blurted out.  
  
Piper went white. She knew the truth about cancer. Not Prue, her big sister, she couldn't have cancer. She didn't know what to say. She knew what she thought. Cancer kills. And cancer could kill Prue. It was like a nightmare. But however she felt would be nothing compared to the way that Andy was surely feeling. To Andy, his wife was everything. And she couldn't imagine Prue gone, and Andy still there. They came as a package now. They were Andy-and-Prue, even though they were two separate people. They were only real when they were together. How could it be possible that Andy would live without his wife?  
  
"What?" Piper whispered. Maybe she had heard wrong. Yeah, either that or it was a nightmare.  
  
"Cancer," Andy repeated. "My wife and my children – dying."  
  
"But…" Piper stopped. What could she say? Nothing she could say would ever express what she felt. She felt all mixed up inside. Prue should be happy – she was pregnant, it was what she had wanted for years. But she wasn't happy… she was going to die.  
  
"I'm dying," murmured Prue, letting it sink in for the first time. "They want me to kill my children so I can die too."  
  
Prue felt the tears well up in her eyes. It was too late – she buried her head in Andy's shoulder and began to cry. He couldn't comfort her. Cancer kills.  
  
* * *  
  
The following day, Piper called Phoebe, Cole and Leo together, in P3, to tell them about Prue's illness. Illness, not cancer – it couldn't be cancer. There must have been some sort of mistake.  
  
Prue wasn't there. She had been up for half the night crying, and was now asleep, Andy by her side. It was he who had asked Piper to do this. He knew that neither he nor Prue would be up to it, and, though Piper would find it hard, she would be able to get the words out, at least.  
  
When Cole, Phoebe and Leo were there, Piper began. "Prue is having twins," she told them. "A girl and a boy." They looked at each other, smiling, but Piper carried on. "Only, she might not have them. She's got cancer. She's dying."  
  
No one knew what to say. They all reacted in much the same way as did Piper, Andy, and even Prue herself. Shock and disbelief were the main emotions involved, along with sadness. Worry and fear, for Prue, for Prue and Andy, for their children, for themselves.  
  
* * *  
  
When Prue woke up, she had a much brighter attitude. "I can get through this," she told Andy.  
  
"D-do we need to talk about, uh, the-the abortion, thing?" Andy asked, tentatively.  
  
"We-ell," Prue began. "I don't think we should do it. I mean there is a chance that I can have the babies and then have chemo, right?"  
  
"I guess," Andy said. "I just don't want you to die – I don't know what I'd do without you, Prue."  
  
"I won't die," Prue insisted. She went red. "If you must know, I rang Dr Tyler this morning, when you were still asleep, and ran my idea past him. He said that there would still be, like, a ninety-seven percent chance of survival."  
  
"Ninety-seven's pretty high," Andy agreed. "Well, okay, if that's what you want to do."  
  
"It is." She hugged him. "Thank you so much."  
  
"For what?" he asked, bewildered.  
  
"For being there for me, for helping, and I know you're gonna be there a lot in the future!" Prue said. "In fact, if you're not, I will get Leo to do that 'ass-kicking' thing you talked about." She laughed – laughed for the first time in three days. Andy gladly joined in.  
  
* * *  
  
The next week, the four-and-a-bit-months-pregnant Prue woke up feeling very ill. "No…" she moaned. "I thought I was done with morning sickness…" She tried to get out of bed, so that she could get to the bathroom, but she was unable to.  "Andy?" she called, weakly. "Can't move."  
  
He came running, and was shocked at Prue's appearance. She was white, and shaking. "Prue, are you okay?" he asked, worried. "What should I do?"  
  
"Get an ambulance," she muttered, clutching at her stomach. "It hurts, Andy, it hurts!"  
  
He grabbed the phone of the nightstand and dialled. Within twenty minutes, Prue was being loaded into the ambulance, sobbing with fear and pain.  
  
At the hospital, Prue was taken away immediately, whilst Andy rang Leo, Piper, Cole and Phoebe. Ten minutes later, Cole, Leo and Phoebe had arrived, Piper needing to stay with Hannah.  
  
"What's the matter?" Phoebe said, anxiously.  
  
"I don't know…" Andy replied. "They took her in there."  
  
After an endless wait of nearly an hour, Dr Tyler appeared. "Mr Trudeau?" he greeted Andy. "And I suppose these are sisters your wife talked about."  
  
"Yes, Piper and Phoebe," Andy agreed. "Is Prue okay?"  
  
"I'm afraid the cancer has spread," the doctor replied. "Mrs Trudeau is stable, for now."  
  
"S-spread?" Phoebe repeated.  
  
"Quite extensively, I am afraid." He paused. "She is unconscious right now."  
  
"What caused the blackout?" Piper asked.  
  
"She began to miscarry," the doctor told them. "She lost a lot of blood."  
  
"My babies?" Andy asked.  
  
"They are fine – maybe a little weaker than they would have been. Because of the cancer, your wife's body is trying so hard to fight that, and it cannot give all the attention it needs to the growing foeti."  
  
"Foeti?" Phoebe repeated.  
  
"Unborn babies, Pheebs," Andy explained. "So is Prue okay?"  
  
The doctor shook his head. "For now, she is stable. I can make no promises about her condition at the end of this pregnancy."  
  
"Can I – can I see her?"  
  
"Of course. Come this way, Mr Trudeau." The doctor led him down a narrow passage into a small room. Prue was lying there, covered in tubes, her heart being monitored. She was as white as a sheet, and Andy's heart broke as he looked at her. "I love you, Prue," he whispered, taking her small hand in his. He sat there for over two hours, crying.  
  
After he arrived home, he sat at his kitchen table, feeling numb. His wife was dying of cancer. He looked around the apartment, his gaze settling on a baby names book and a catalogue of nursery furniture, two books that they had looked at the night before. It was so unfair. He felt so helpless.  
  
Suddenly, as if he were on autopilot, he stood up, and reached into the drawer. He pulled out one of Prue's knives – the one that looked the sharpest. Sitting back at the table, he looked at it. So sharp, so shiny – but it wasn't the best thing to do. He began to put it back… oh, screw that! His life was just one hell of a mess right now. One more thing wouldn't hurt.  
  
He pushed the knife over his arms, again and again. As the cool surface ripped through his skin, he felt strangely exhilarated. When the blood flowed out, it was just a symbol of all Prue's suffering. Now she wasn't the only one in pain. He was helping her.  
  
* * *  
  
The telephone rang, once, twice, three times. Andy stood up, and saw it was dark. He turned his arm to look at his watch – he saw the gashes of the knife. It still hurt. Good, he was still helping Prue.  
  
He answered the phone. Dr Tyler's voice filtered through to him. "Mr Trudeau?"  
  
"Uh huh," he muttered. Then, waking fully, "Oh, is Prue okay?"  
  
"Your wife has woken up," Dr Tyler explained. "I am sorry to be ringing you so late at night."  
  
"Prue – she's awake?" Andy spluttered.  
  
"Yes, she is awake. She has been asking for you," the doctor replied.  
  
"Can I see her now?" Andy asked, frantically looking around for a clock. It was three in the morning? Woah, it was late!  
  
"Yes, of course." Andy hung up, and raced around, trying to change, wash, cover up the gashes. He couldn't let Prue see. Prue must never see.  
  
* * *  
  
Two days later, Prue came home. Still very weak, she was not allowed to work, move around much, or clean. She had to stay in bed until she gave birth. This last preposition was almost a death sentence to her. However, Andy occupied her time by buying baby name books. "Choose some names," he told her.  
  
Piper brought Hannah over each day, so Prue wouldn't be bored; Andy spent all his time decorating the babies' room and working, so that he could pay for it. Phoebe came over almost every day after work, and Leo and Cole came whenever they could. Cole and Leo mainly helped Andy with the nursery, while Phoebe would chat to Prue.  
  
Andy and Prue, each evening, discussed their babies. On Prue's fifth night home, they felt one of the babies moving. "Hi little babies!" Prue whispered. She couldn't believe that, in less than four months, she would be a mom. Prue decided to give her children meaningful names. Her children had been through so much already, that she wanted to give them names that meant things such as "hope" and "gift". Her son would be called Jason Andrew (the Andy being Prue's idea). She had no idea for a girl's name yet, apart from one small thought that she was going to keep from Andy until the birth. However, he had made no secret of the fact that his daughter would have Prue for a second name.  
  
Each time Prue felt a pain, or complained about being stuck in bed, Andy would feel so helpless that he would rush away to use his secret weapon. When he cut himself, he felt powerful. He always hid his gashes, and kept the knife under the bathtub – Prue had never known there was a gap there. He kept several bloodied towels with the knife. It was his secret – something that made him feel in control.  
  
However, almost six weeks after coming home, when she was seven months pregnant, Prue saw the scars on her husband's arms. "I'm not a fool, Andy," she said, shrewdly. "You've been cutting yourself, haven't you?"  
  
He nodded. There was no point in denying it.  
  
"It's all my fault," she murmured, beginning to cry.  
  
"What? No, Prue, it's not!" he cried.  
  
"You can't cope with me," she sobbed. "I'm too much for you – you should leave me, I'll be fine, don't worry…"  
  
Andy leapt over to her. "Prue, stop it," he whispered. "I-I-I did it, because I was so afraid of losing you. I needed to feel like, uh, I guess, if I was in pain, then you weren't – I felt like I was helping you," he confessed.  
  
"You aren't," Prue told him, trying to stop crying. "Kleenex, Kleenex, where's a damn Kleenex?" Andy handed her a box, and she blew her nose. "Thanks." She paused. "I'll help you stop – if you want to?" She took a deep breath. "If, uh, you'd rather not stop, then I don't think we can, um, carry on. I don't think I could cope."  
  
"Help me," Andy whispered. "I want to do anything to stay with you, I love you, Prue."  
  
* * *  
  
Dr Tyler allowed Prue to attend a counselling session with her husband. "I don't see why there should be any problem, and your husband will probably be better off if you attend."  
  
It was held at the hospital, just Prue, Andy, and a nice woman called Carrie. "Hi!" she greeted them. "I'm Dr Carolyn Jameson, but just call me Carrie. Everyone does."  
  
The session was finished when Prue stood up to go to the bathroom, and began to feel a bit dizzy. Suddenly, the room was spinning around her, and then everything went black. She had fainted.  
  
"Prue! Prue?" Andy called, checking her pulse.  
  
"Yeah…?" she moaned, opening her eyes. "I felt all – all queasy." She was soon sitting in a chair, quite comfortable.  
  
The room began to spin again, and she saw Andy and Carrie looking at her, both concerned. "Fetch Dr Tyler," she muttered. Carrie ran off at once.  
  
"Prue, are you okay?" Andy asked.  
  
"Feel sick, stomach hurts," she replied, moaning. "Really hurts, like bad period pain," she added. Suddenly, she gave a yelp of surprise, as she felt a warm wetness between her legs.  
  
"Prue?"  
  
"M-my water broke," she whispered.  
  
He shook his head. "You're only seven months gone." Then he saw the wetness, spreading through her trousers, onto the chair, onto the floor. "It can't be."  
  
Dr Tyler took her straight up to the maternity ward. Giving injections to slow down labour, he took Andy aside. "If she has to deliver now, neither she nor your children stand much chance," he informed him.  
  
"No, no, it'll be okay," said Andy, trying to turn back time. It was all his fault – if he hadn't have cut himself, then this wouldn't have happened. She would still be at home, healthy.  
  
Ten minutes later, it became obvious that Prue was too far-gone for anything else to happen apart from deliver a child. In just under an hour, she had produced a baby – Jason Andrew Trudeau was tiny, barely weighing three ounces. He was not moving, not breathing – he was dead.  
  
By now, Prue was weeping openly. She had lost her baby, and she knew she was going to die herself. Andy knew it as well. "I love you," he whispered, kissing her head. "Just try and push, once more, and you'll have a daughter." Hopefully we'll have a live daughter, he added to himself.  
  
Within minutes, the baby was born. She was alive, but tiny. She was only weighing ten ounces, but she was crying. Prue was allowed a look at her before she was taken away to the neonatal unit. "She's alive," Andy murmured into his wife's ear. She nodded, but she felt sick. Sicker than she'd ever felt before.  
  
"Andy…" she moaned. "I love you, remember that."  
  
"Oh, sweetie, I love you too," he replied. "You're gonna be fine, I promise you." Deep down, he knew it wasn't true. He knew she was dying. She was white, whiter than ever. She was moaning with pain, and she looked so weak.  
  
Prue began to feel dizzy again. She knew what she had to say, she had to say it before she died. She wanted to leave Andy a message. She looked up at him. "Dorothy – call her Dorothy." The world began to spin again. Then it all went black.  
  
* * *  
  
"Prue?" Andy asked, gently. "Prue? Prue? Prue, you gotta stay with me, sweetie!" He was worried now. "She's not breathing!" he yelled, frantically. Within seconds, ten doctors were swarming around Prue, checking her pulse, her breathing, and everything else. The next thing Andy knew, he was being hustled out of the room.  
  
"Wait here, Mr Trudeau," Dr Tyler told him.  
  
"But my wife—Prue, she's okay, right, she's gonna be okay?" he babbled.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr Trudeau, I really do need to get back to your wife." He left.  
  
A receptionist appeared. "Sir? Do you want to see your daughter?"  
  
"I-I have to stay," he whispered. "Prue, she's gonna wake up, and everything's gonna be fine, she's gonna need me." The receptionist nodded.  
  
Andy sat and cried. Time merged into one. He could have been there for ten minutes, an hour, he didn't know. Eventually, Dr Tyler reappeared.  
  
"Mr Trudeau?" His face held no good news. "I'm very sorry, we did all we could, but your wife—"  
  
"No!" Andy stated. He didn't just say it. He shouted it. "No, Prue's fine!"  
  
"I'm so sorry Mr Trudeau, but your wife died."  
  
"You bastard, you can't just stand there and say that!" Andy yelled. "You're not sorry, you didn't even know Prue, she was my wife, she was my life, she's not dead, and she can't be!"  
  
"Mr Trudeau, we did everything we could," the doctor insisted.  
  
"She isn't dead," Andy repeated. "Maybe she's just, like, asleep, or something. You could do that thing they do on TV, y'know, bring her back to life. Coz she's not dead, my wife isn't dead, we've just had a baby…"  
  
"Mr Trudeau, she's dead." The words cut through Andy's mind, and he heard clearly for the first time.  
  
"Prue," he whispered. "Oh, Prue!" The tears came of their own accord, flowing as freely as the blood had done. Only this time, there was no relief. Prue was gone.  
  
* * *  
  
When Andy looked up, Dr Tyler was gone. However, Leo, Phoebe, Piper and Cole were in his place.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Cole mumbled, his eyes red and watery.  
  
Andy nodded. "I loved that woman so much."  
  
"We all did," Leo replied, hugging him. "I can't imagine life without Prue." He too, had been crying.  
  
"She was my big sister," Piper whispered, scrubbing her own eyes with a very wet Kleenex.  
  
"She helped me so much when we were younger," Phoebe added.  
  
"I wish I was dead," Andy said, numbly. "I can't live without my wife."  
  
"You can't think like that, Andy," Leo told him. "Think of how Prue—"  
  
"I can't believe she's gone," Andy whispered, now oblivious to all his friends. "She's gone and left me with a baby."  
  
"A baby?" Piper asked. "What, she gave birth?"  
  
"Yeah…" he sighed, and rubbed his red eyes. The tracks of tears were still down his face, but no one was worried about that. They were only concerned about Prue – their best friend, now gone.  
  
"A boy or a girl?" Cole questioned, gently.  
  
"Dorothy Prudence," Andy muttered, not wanting to think about the new baby. He wanted to put it aside; he wanted only to grieve for his lost wife. "Prue wanted it."  
  
"That's sweet," Phoebe told him, sniffing back tears.  
  
"Have you seen her? Where is she?" Leo wondered, curious about his newborn niece.  
  
"Haven't seen her," Andy shook his head. "She's in the neonatal unit." He paused. "Don't want to see her. She killed the woman I love."  
  
"It's not the baby's fault," Piper replied. "What happened to the other baby?"  
  
"Jason died. Prue died. Dorothy lived. Why couldn't Prue have lived? I want my wife," he whispered, the tears coming again.  
  
"Andy," Piper insisted. "Go see your daughter. Meet your baby – Prue would want you to, right?"  
  
Andy nodded, and walked down the corridor. Dorothy Prudence Trudeau was going to meet her father.  
  
* * *  
  
Andy looked at the tiny baby, lying so peacefully in the incubator. He ran Prue's last words over and over in his mind. "Dorothy – call her Dorothy." And Dorothy's middle name was obviously Prue. Dorothy Prudence Trudeau. He was sure Prue was giving him a last message, with the name. He thought for a moment. "Dorothy" meant, "God's gift …". Prue had known that the baby's middle name would be Prudence. When you put the two things together – "God's gift, Prudence". She was happy. She died happy.  
  
Dorothy had no idea that her mommy was dead. Dorothy didn't know that her father's heart was breaking. Dorothy didn't know that her father was seriously considering giving her up to her Uncle Leo and Auntie Piper, because he was so absorbed with thoughts of suicide. Dorothy didn't know that there was a bottle of pills and a glass of water waiting for her father.  
  
Andy tore himself away from his daughter and back to reality. He wasn't sure how he could cope with a baby – least of all a baby girl. What did he know about baby girls? Leo and Piper had done this once before – and they didn't have to deal with the fact that they felt so empty, their soulmate hadn't just died. Prue was gone – she was never coming back.  
  
"You have to be strong," Phoebe whispered. Andy jumped. He hadn't even heard Phoebe come in.  
  
"I can't, Pheebs," he replied, choking back sobs.  
  
"You need to be," she insisted. "You've got a daughter – a little person, and she needs you right now."  
  
Andy shook his head. "She doesn't know if I'm here, or if it's you or Leo or Piper, or-or even Hannah."  
  
"Nu-uh. She knows you, because you're her father. That's a pretty strong bond, Andy. She's just lost her brother and her mom, she doesn't need to lose you as well." Phoebe paused, wondering how to word the next bit. "I feel sorrier for her than you, Andy. She lost a twin and a mother – she's never going to get another mom, is she? You might marry again, but…" Andy interrupted her  
  
"I just lost Prue and my son," Andy replied. "Don't say that Dorothy's the only one who's lost people – Prue was my life, okay? Dorothy didn't even know her mother. She's never going to remember her, is she? She doesn't have to wake up every morning and see an empty bed. She doesn't have to live with the memories of all the arguments we had. She lost someone she never knew, okay? I lost my wife, my best friend, my soulmate, the woman who completed my life!" He was shouting now. "Don't you dare tell me that I can just marry again! I will never find another woman I love as much as Prue. I will never forgive myself for getting her pregnant, and getting rid of her last chance of survival. I will never, ever, ever be happy without Prue, okay?" With that, he stormed out of the hospital, leaving Phoebe alone with a now wailing Dorothy.  
  
Phoebe turned towards the baby, and sighed. "Hello, baby." Dorothy kept on screaming. A nurse bustled over, smiling.  
  
"Hi!" she said brightly. "Are you Piper or Phoebe?"  
  
"Phoebe."  
  
"Ah…Mr Trudeau spoke a lot about you," the nurse told her, swiftly taking Dorothy out of her incubator. "Was that him who just went off?"  
  
Phoebe nodded, sighing. "I said I felt sorry for the baby," she explained. "Is she okay now?"  
  
"Yes, but poor Dorothy's been through a lot," the nurse sighed.  
  
"The name really suits her," Phoebe whispered.  
  
"Yes, poor Mrs Trudeau suggested it," the nurse said. "Dorothy Prudence Trudeau."  
  
"Prudence," Phoebe repeated. "Prue Trudeau…" She looked at the baby. "I'm so sorry, I have to go!" She ran out of the hospital, in the direction Andy had gone only minutes before.  
  
* * *  
  
Andy was alone in his apartment – alone there for the first time since Prue had died. The room that had been decorated for two babies… one cradle would never be used. The room he and Prue had shared… one side of the bed would never be slept on. He had never really believed that Prue would die. She was Prue – Prue the Invincible.  
  
He picked up the letter she had left him, written several days before her death, before Dorothy was born, and began to re-read it. It was smudged where his tears had landed.  
  
Dear Andy,  
  
I'm so sorry I left you all alone. You have to be strong, sweetie. If you feel sad, just remember that you have great friends. Leo and Piper will help each other through this, and Phoebe and Cole will cope. It's you I'm worried about. If you miss me, just remember that we will see each other one day – I promise. Remember, I am always right. Don't give up, sweetie, and remember that I love you with all my heart. I love you with a love that is beyond this earth. It's a love that will last forever.  
  
Love always,  
  
Your wife, Prue  
  
Sitting at the kitchen table, where so many things had happened – it was hard to bear. He couldn't believe that Prue, the love of his life, was dead. Dead… it sounds so final.  
  
He got up to go to the bathroom, and while there, spotted the pills. Prue's pills – but they would do the job. He took them into the small kitchen, and, on the back of Prue's letter, scrawled a note to his friends.  
  
Leo, Piper, Cole, Phoebe,  
  
I can't go on without Prue. Leo, Piper, look after Dorothy. She needs someone, and you have Hannah. Phoebe, I'm sorry about what I said. I'm not doing this because of anything you have or haven't said. Don't blame yourselves. I'm sorry. I tried, I really did.  
  
Andy  
  
He got a glass of water and unscrewed the top of the pill bottle. "I'm coming to be with you, Prue," he whispered.  
  
A World Without You, by Emma Bunton  
  
I know that you can hear the rhythm of the rain  
  
Although we're miles apart,  
  
I know you feel my pain  
  
I try to be so strong  
  
I try to carry on  
  
But since you left, the sun don't seem to shine  
  
My tears are falling on the words you wrote to me  
  
I wish that somehow they could take me where I wanna be  
  
It seems so long ago  
  
You held me when I cried  
  
For now I just pretend you're by my side  
  
Everything that I touch turns to blue  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm going crazy baby  
  
I am missing you  
  
Can't imagine all I go through  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm not alone; I know you can feel it too  
  
I try and watch a movie but you're all that I can see  
  
And in my dreams I know I always see you constantly  
  
But then the dream comes to an end and I'm alone  
  
And now I cant seem to let this feeling go  
  
Oh baby  
  
Everything I touch turns to blue  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm going crazy baby  
  
I am missing you  
  
Can't imagine all I go through  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm not alone; I know you can feel it too  
  
I try to be so strong  
  
I try to carry on  
  
But since you left the sun don't seem to shine…  
  
Everything I touch turns to blue  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm going crazy baby I am missing you  
  
Can't imagine all I go through  
  
When I'm living in a world without you  
  
I'm not alone I know that you can feel it too  
  
What can I do without you baby?  
  
Living without you  
  
I'm going crazy, missing you baby  
  
Living without you, living without you  
  
* * *  
  
The darkness had gone completely. There was only light. And standing, mirrored against the light, was the happiest woman in the entire afterlife, and her tiny baby son. Her husband was going to be with her.  
  
As he approached, he looked remorseful. He tried to speak, but she put a finger on his lips. She showed him the child, sleeping, and together, they walked off into the light, happy to be together again. They couldn't live without one another.  
  
THE END 


End file.
